I am unhappy, but that can change.

Lord give me strength.

At least you’ll never be a vegetable

"...even artichokes have hearts." Amélie Poulain

A letter to my brother

Lately you have been a little "out there", a little quiet, a little crazy, a little selfish, a little sweet, and a little sour, but I still love you. I recognize where you are in your life. I know that you may be feeling like you just want to be alone for a while and figure things out, but no matter how much time you give yourself, you are always going to have a million questions about yourself. I am happy to see you are at least positive, for the most part. Over the years you are going to recreate yourself a million times because you are going to continue to learn and the more you learn the more you will want to add to your person, and that is a good thing. Don't be afraid to try out different images, I know your heart will remain in the right spot, and you will feel when your inner and outer beings match. Don't stress out when in a couple of weeks they no longer align themselves anymore, and you have outgrown your latest phase.

Try not to overwhelm yourself with all of your dreams, you may never have enough life to accomplish them all, but that doesn't mean you will not have a chance to give a lot of them a shot. Just because some of those dreams do not come true doesn't make your dreams a failure, half of the fun of a dream is dreaming it up.

Along the way you will learn that it doesn't matter what you want for yourself if the Lord has a different plan for you, and the earlier you put that in your head the happier you will be. Not all things are meant to happen when we may want them to.

You are a special man, your heart has the ability to look past many things and find the truth in someone. Please remember that just because you see light in someone doesn't mean that they will see it in themselves and they may in fact choose to turn that light into darkness, and if you find your heart reaching for theirs at that moment, it is still okay to walk away. You will learn to trust that somethings are meant for you to fix, and others are to be left alone so that you give someone else the opportunity to find the power in themselves.

Most of all do not give up, and do not become to anxious. Allow things/people to enter your life, and learn from them. Keep in mind not everyone is meant to be permanent in you life, sometime people appear at the right time to bring about a truth, and then that relationship is outgrown and you move on to be a better person. Make sure that you always offer a positive energy for people to borrow from you.

Don't forget about us. Your family will be old and boring, and then you will miss them and love them, and then they will let you down, and then they will love you some more. It is always a battle with family, but deep down keep in mind that we love you no matter what stage of your life you may be in, and we will never stop loving you.

I know that you already know most of this, and that Dad has already told you all of this, but I was so impressed with you that I want to reach out and tell you for myself.

Have fun on your journey, it looks like you are at a good starting point. Confuse yourself, then untangle the mess, sit back and look at the person you are, and then do it all over again. I hope you have many opportunities to do this. It is as fun as it is frustrating, and the longer you do it, the more entertaining and frustrating it gets.

Maybe someday we will be at the same point again, and have those incredible laughs that nobody else understand, or maybe those chapters of our life are only going to be in our past. Either way, I am sure that we will have many more great times loving, and caring for each other.
I love you my brother, I love all four of you. I love you all so very much.

A new beginning.

Two-Thousand and Nine, you are so fresh, so new and exciting. I always look forward to a marked beginning because I feel that I am granted a chance to finally restart my brain, my goals, and go for it. It is a little overwhelming, but it is still a challenge I plan to conquer. What will this year bring? I am hoping it will be a lot of fun trips, time with the family, a new home, and lots of kisses and laughs with my niece April.

This year really has the potential of being one of the best years in a long time. I feel so happy, and hopeful. My husband is so amazing, and I cannot wait to see how we grew this year. Gosh, 2009 you are already so amazing. 2008 I will never forget you, thank you for bringing me to this point

freakn awesome... with pain

so this weekend I wasn't feeling SUPER or anything, but I did have an awesome time. we spent Saturday up in Berkeley with David & Frank (Chicago Buddies), the BBQ was yummy & David made bomb fried plantains. There was plenty of interesting characters, and lots of fun rounds of flip clip, I just watched, and still had a blast! Sunday morning we went into the city and had breakfast, and of course hit up isotope. Unfortunately James Sime was not there, and anyone who has been to isotope knows he is half of the reason for going there. We grabbed a couple of books, I had to get the newest David Mack Reflections, I still had not got it yet, can you believe that. I know I go off in random tangents, but David Mack is not only really hot, but his artwork is so amazing. I totally dig dudes that can draw. Drawing plus Hip-Hop gets an instant proposal. (( Lesean Thomas... if I shall ever become a widow, you are the only man my husband would approve of! )) So what was I saying... awyess, San Francisco... Still as awesome as it was last time, and Japantown gets better every visit, this time there was a group doing some crazy stuff with Drums and Kung-Fu shoes... I miss living in a real city sometimes!

anywho... today was a monday, and it kinda sucked because i spent the morning feeling like poo, but after o.d.'ing on some meds i felt much better... here's to a tuesday filled of fun!

Taking a moment

it is SUNDAY lay back and daydream...

More To Tell...

hanging out with homies is so awesome! im so thankful for my husband and his friends.

TGIF

what a week. ups and downs... and a couple of days before we start it all over again!
thank god it is friday

oh my head

it has been a very long day. i have such a horrible headache! we saw two houses today, one very nice, one okay. yes that means Elliot is gone for good. i don't know why i am typing in all lowercase and chopped up sentences. sorry. did i mention i had a horrible headache? yeah. very long day.

keeping with the theme of the month: thanks

i am extremely thankful for excedrin migraine.